China's Declining Fitness Rate

While China has risen to prominence as an Olympic medal powerhouse, recent reports show that national average youth fitness measures has dropped consistently over the past ten years, while the obesity rate has become the world's fastest growing. Before long, China will have more obese people than America has people.

China, it seems, is getting better at globalization, with even the bellies of its next generation becoming ever more globular. According to experts, this is because Chinese parents are, as the old saying goes, "hoping that their sons become dragons" and insisting that would-be exercise time be devoted to the same end as nearly everything else in China-- cramming.

It's a reminder of how drastically different the United States and China can be. While American policy makers ponderously fail to drum up interest in exploring one of the most beautiful, safe, and inviting plots of real estate on the planet, Chinese parents are tirelessly inventing new ways to restrain their children from breaking loose into the cold dystopian coal-scape. And curiously, the outcome is identical: an unstoppable army of fat kids.

Chinese dragons, unlike European ones, do not necessary breathe fire. Instead, apparently, they will breathe in quick, shallow, asthmatic gasps.